There is a theory that it takes only 5-7 phrases in a conversation to understand how well you get along with a person. At first glance, this seems critically insufficient. But let’s think about it. Even such a short conversation is enough to:

  • Hear the voice and intonations of the interlocutor;
  • Assess the person’s mood;
  • Understand the level of interest in the conversation;
  • Feel whether the stranger is answering honestly, and much more.

Naturally, a short conversation is not enough to learn everything about the interlocutor and understand if this is THE person. But it is enough to form a first impression.

The problem is that this theory works perfectly offline but is much less effective online, especially when it comes to chatting. In this format, you can communicate daily for months and still not understand who is on the other side of the screen. Then your offline meeting may turn out to be quite unpredictable.

We decided to help you make online dating more effective, comfortable, and, importantly, safer. To do this, we have prepared a list of ten questions to ask your interlocutor before arranging an offline meeting.

What to Ask Your Interlocutor?

Let’s clarify that there will be no global questions or tricky psychological tricks here. The questions are quite simple, but they will give you a lot of important information about the interlocutor.

  1. “Can you tell me about your family?”A person who does not talk about their family may be hiding something, including current relationships. If they complain about their family, it is also a cause for concern. Maybe they just don’t get along well with close people. Conversely, if a man, for example, speaks warmly about his mother, it may indicate that he respects other women as well.
  2. “How do you think your friends would describe you?”This, by the way, is a good psychological technique. The fact is that even the most sociable and risk-taking person finds it difficult to talk about themselves—praise and especially criticize. But by taking the position of someone else, it is much easier to talk about oneself in the third person. Moreover, this story will often be more objective and honest. Be sure to ask this question before the first real meeting!
  3. “How did your parents meet?”Frankly, the circumstances of your potential partner’s parents’ meeting don’t matter to you at all. But the answer to this question will help you learn more about the person’s relationship with their family. Some people don’t even know the details of their parents’ meeting. This might be a red flag indicating difficulties in communicating with close ones.
  4. “What is your favorite book?”Once, American director John Waters said: “If you go home with someone and they don’t have books, don’t have sex with them.” Dislike for books may indicate the interlocutor’s lack of education and narrow-mindedness. Most likely, one day you will just get bored with them and have nothing to talk about.
  5. “Do you really love what you do?”This question should be noted, especially by women. A man’s answer can tell a lot about his ambitions and future plans. If he complains about his life and work but says he can’t change anything or plans to change “someday,” it’s better not to develop a relationship with such a person. Otherwise, your relationship will also be full of uncertainty and plans that are unlikely to ever come true.
  6. “Are you an early bird or a night owl?”It may seem like a trivial matter. But believe me, if your relationship develops and turns into a family, different daily routines can significantly complicate your lives.
  7. “Tell me about your best trip.”It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t like to travel. But preferred formats and places for travel can vary greatly. For some, the best vacation is lying on a sunny beach for a week, while for others, it’s going on a multi-day extreme hike in the mountains and testing themselves. Knowing what type of leisure and rest your interlocutor prefers will help you find more common interests and even choose the best option for your first date.
  8. “What is your current life goal?”If the interlocutor jokes and names completely silly goals, it’s worth seriously considering whether you want to develop a relationship. Overly ambitious, unrealistic goals are also not very good. An excellent sign is if the interlocutor talks about truly important and achievable goals: graduating with honors and getting a job at a certain company, mastering a new profession, buying housing or a car within three years, and so on.
  9. “Where would you like to be right now?”The answer to this question will help you learn about the person’s favorite places, interests, and dreams. By the way, it can be a hint on where to have your first offline meeting.
  10. “What annoys or dislikes you?”

Generally, it’s better to avoid any topics with a negative connotation when getting acquainted. But this question is important. The answer helps you get to know the person and find many commonalities. For example, you both might hate cigarette smoke, noisy nightclubs, or uncontrolled young people on electric scooters. Isn’t this an interesting topic for a conversation?

Bonus: Forbidden Topics and Questions

If you don’t want to scare off a person from the very beginning, try to avoid questions about exes, salaries, money, politics, and religion. It’s better to postpone such topics for the future. Sooner or later, you will definitely discuss them. But while you still don’t know the person well enough, we recommend avoiding such delicate topics. And if the interlocutor initiates a conversation that is unpleasant for you, tell them. Just say: “Let’s postpone this topic for later.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

Why Should These Questions Be Asked via Video Call, Not in Writing?

The main argument is that texting gives the interlocutor time to find the most suitable, but not always truthful answer. People tend to idealize themselves and try to appear better in the eyes of others. And if you give them extra time to think about the answer, they will use it to their advantage. As a result, instead of the truth, you risk getting a beautiful lie.

Communicating via text is possible and necessary. But if you are having a serious conversation and want to understand the interlocutor better, we still recommend a video call. Moreover, many dating platforms are now implementing video chat functions. It is very convenient!

Plus, don’t forget about online video chats, where communication by default occurs via video. Here is a small list of popular video chats worth your attention:

  1. Omegle — the first video chat in history, operating since 2009.
  2. CooMeet — premium chat roulette with girls. CooMeet has a perfect gender filter, connecting men exclusively with the opposite sex.
  3. OmeTV — chat with gender and geographic filters, as well as automatic message translation.
  4. Chatrandom — video chat with gender and geographic filters, as well as thematic chat rooms by interests.
  5. Monkey — video chat with a Duo feature, allowing you to add a friend to the conversation by sending an invitation link.
  6. Chathub — online video chat with gender and language filters.
  7. EmeraldChat — video chat with karma rating and media file exchange.
  8. Bazoocam — chat with online mini-games and a separate section for video broadcasts (streams).
  9. ChatAlternative — almost a complete analog of OmeTV but with a different interface design.

And this is far from the entire list of online video chats. There are many more of them, and many more will surely appear in the future. But if you are looking for a good video chat for dating here and now, consider these options.

Let’s Summarize

No text conversation or video call will let you know a person 100%. And it would be too naive to claim otherwise, we understand that. But this doesn’t mean that texting and conversations should be quickly transitioned to offline. Haste, especially in our time, is completely unnecessary.

We hope our list of questions helps you better and more accurately evaluate interlocutors online (and offline too). Be more attentive to those you have just met. Only in this way can you eventually find a person with whom you will be ready to connect your life forever. We wish you good luck!

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